I have decided that with Grace’s successful completion of the London Marathon two weeks ago this will probably be my last contribution to Simon’s blog. She did brilliantly completing the course in 3hours and 54minutes and to date has raised almost £2,900 for the Multiple System Atrophy Trust, the only UK charity dedicated to providing specialist support to all those who like Simon are affected by MSA; a life-limiting neurodegenerative brain disease.

I went down to London for the weekend with my other daughter Eve and her family to support Grace and we had a fantastic time rushing around London to cheer her on in Bermondsey, the Docklands and Westminster.

In Grace’s own words:

My first marathon was the most incredible experience both physically and emotionally. The hours of training prepared me physically, but a 21 mile training run is a million miles away, pardon my pun, from the feeling of running 26.2 miles through the streets of London. The crowds cheering across Tower Bridge, Canary Wharf and coming up the Embankment on the home stretch were a tonic to tired legs and in general I felt truly fantastic up until around mile 22. My legs started to get heavy at that point. My thoughts went to my dad and what I was running for and I found the inspiration to keep going and push through the final miles.

Thank you to all of you who sponsored me – your kindness is greatly appreciated. I was very touched by your generosity and the messages of support I received.

Eve, Grace and I in Horse Guards Parade with Grace showing off her medal

After the race we joined some of the people who are part of the small team in the MSA London office. It was good to put faces to names and voices and to meet two of the other runners – there were only four runners for the charity including Grace. I particularly enjoyed talking to Lyn, the Trust’s part-time administrator as her husband was diagnosed with MSA in 2007 and died aged 51. I have never had the opportunity to talk to someone who has experienced the same distressing deterioration in her partner and in particular the feelings that are engendered. Lyn does a lot of work with MSA support groups and is the key to the smooth running of the charity.

Not a day goes by without me thinking of Simon several times and sometimes of course I feel sad but he will always be part of my life whatever the future brings. The past year has brought me closer to my children and friendships have deepened. I’m enjoying my freedom and independence and looking forward to going to Sierra Leone (where Simon and I met when we were both newly qualified teachers) in October with six local teachers who are visiting their link schools. I still don’t feel able to reorganise Simon’s barn office and work in there myself and there are still some of Simon’s personal things I can’t part with but neither of these bother me. The time will feel right one day and in the meantime I am enjoying the lovely spring weather and seeing all the new growth and life. What an amazing world we live in and I am definitely one of the very lucky ones. I hope you feel the same way and will take time to look for the good that is everywhere.

One year on

It’s a long time since I’ve felt like writing but feel I must this week as 6 April approaches, marking the first anniversary of Simon’s death. The year has gone so quickly and apart from the obvious not much else has changed. I haven’t wanted to make dramatic changes at home or in my life; flying off somewhere exotic, engaging in a social whirl, reinventing myself or withdrawing completely have not interested me. I’ve just wanted things to continue as they were. There’s always a lot to do, too much really and sometimes I’ve felt like the bird that somehow managed to get into the loft one night. It woke me up flapping about and trying to find a way out. I rush around madly and sometimes I think for what purpose. I’m fit and healthy – what should I be aiming for in the next twenty years?



I can't work how to get this the right way up!

 During Lent I was following Christian Aid’s ‘Count Your Blessings’ and Paula Gooder and Peter Babington’s ‘Love Life Live Lent Be the Change!’ little book of reflections and I’m missing them. It’s good to be reminded of how fortunate I am and we are living in the UK, for example 2.5billion people in the world do not have somewhere safe, private or hygienic to go to the toilet. It’s also been good to consider positives rather than negatives every day so I think I will start at the beginning and read through them again. Some reflections have really resonated with me – Be more curious, Be more peaceful, Remember more, Have more fun!

Grace was home for Easter weekend and we did lots of ordinary but nice things together. She did a twenty mile run, her last long run before the London marathon in less than three weeks time now. She was very touched when several villagers she’s known all her life sponsored her after reading something she’d written about MSA for the village magazine. She’s now got over £1,200 sponsorship representing lots of small donations which is very encouraging and keeps her going.

Mark and his family are coming to see me tomorrow and he’s bringing his book, ‘Black Market Britain 1939 to 1955’ with him. It was published last week by Oxford University Press. You can buy it on Amazon for a mere £52!! Simon would have been so pleased and delighted as it has been a long time coming and he was constantly chivvying him about it.

On the home front my home roof is being redone and has not been without incident. Part of an old chimney fell into the loft when it was being dismantled, thankfully the floored part of the loft and the snow and strong easterly winds arrived the day after all the Yorkshire stone slates were removed. Needless to say I didn’t sleep much for three nights and water from melting snow found its ways through the bedroom ceilings.

On the actual anniversary of Simon’s death on Saturday I will be in my village church as a guest at my friend’s daughter’s wedding and on the following day I’m joining a Golden Wedding Anniversary lunch in a local pub. Mary and John were one of the first couples we got to know when we moved to the village so our friendship goes back a long way. Relationships are so important aren’t they?

The last picture taken of Simon in February 2012 - he's trying hard to smile



Hibernating

Can you be busy and hibernate? I don’t think so but I feel as if I have been doing just that. It’s certainly lovely to wake up to a white world and silence and there were a couple of mornings in January when it was exactly like that. Keeping warm is a problem in my draughty chapel so I’m so pleased to see the lighter evenings which bring the promise of new life as the bulbs spring up in the garden.



My white garden on Monday 21 January



There have been lots of moments of sadness in 2013 so far and I haven’t felt like adding anything to the blog. Several things have triggered the sadness. Here are just a couple of the triggers. I changed my internet provider and all the emails disappeared from Simon’s computer as did his address book. In some respects it was not a bad thing as the emails addressed to him have stopped coming but there were messages I’d kept because of what they contained – special memories of him from several work colleagues and friends received after he died. I should have printed them out or saved them in a folder but hadn’t got round to it. Then last week I noticed that the emerald in the ring Simon bought me soon after we were married had fallen out when I was wearing it. I probably lost it when I was sorting out toys before the mum/baby/toddler group I help with on Friday afternoon. The ring was made by the husband of one of Simon’s art college friends and we both loved it. But i tell myself it is only a thing and not important in the great scheme of things. As a visiting African teacher said, ‘At the end of the day if I’m alive and well and have eaten then I’m happy’.



The sheep know how to get their lunch



Just listening to a special CD called ‘Voices of Promise’ made in 1999. It came out of a competition made possible by Marks and Spencer and the reason I bought it was because one of the tracks was composed and recorded by a girl I used to teach. A talented musician and singer, Jenny wrote about ‘The Guiding Hand of Tomorrow’ and I like to think she was inspired to some extent by my geography lessons. I loved teaching so I always enjoy going into schools and running workshops. This week I was in a small school in Hampsthwaite, a small village not far from Harrogate. They are just beginning their journey towards becoming a Fairtrade School and the children and teachers were a delight to work with. I took my six foot inflatable Fairtrade banana which is always a firm favourite with primary school children. Now I’m looking forward to the visit to Skipton of a Palestinian Fairtrade olive farmer and a representative from Zaytoun, a community interest company founded in 2004 to create and develop a UK market for artisan Palestinian produce. Simon always teased me and called me Mrs Fairtrade. I miss him.

My village church in the January snow

  

Happy New Year

So much has happened since I last wrote, which I suppose is not surprising given the time of year but where to start is a problem. So many highlights and lots of good times in the past two weeks and this morning my niece gave birth to a healthy second son who’s going to be called Teddy. His dad had a heart transplant not quite four years ago so that makes Teddy and his big brother Liam very special indeed.                                                                                                                              

I’ve really enjoyed all the celebrations especially ChristmasDay in Harrogate, walks with friends (one of whom was a past student who I hadn’t seen for twelve years), ten pin bowling with my son and his three children, spending time with my amazing aunty, her daughter (she was one of my bridesmaids) and youngest son and my niece, all of whom I’d not seen for ages. I’ve not enjoyed all the rain but today is dry and so was yesterday. Of course there were times when I felt sad, usually when I was driving and alone in the car.

It would have been Simon’s 65^th birthday on Friday so Eve and family decided to walk up his favourite hill, Simon’s Seat. It was drizzly, very boggy underfoot and misty on top but the boys sped up and down with no difficulty and in record time. Granddad would have been very proud of them, especially Daniel who is only three. He would have enjoyed being with them on Christmas Day too as they played very happily with their Lego all day.

Continuing the theme of walking, here’s a challenge for all the females and males too maybe. It’s called Walk in Her Shoes and the challenge from 4 to10 March, to coincide with International Women’s Day on March 10^th, is to walk 10,000 steps a day in solidarity with African women and girls who walk many miles each day to collect water and other necessities. For example, each morning 14yr old Ayanna, from Ethiopia, sets out on a 6 hour, 22km round trip to collect water for her family – that’s half a marathon. Collecting water is time-consuming, exhausting and dangerous and limits the time that women and girls like her can spend attending school or working. Everyone taking part is sent a pedometer to track their steps. By experiencing just part of what women and girls like Ayanna endure on a daily basis and raising £100 along the way will help to build boreholes and taps in communities, giving women and girls the time to fulfil their potential and providing clean water to thousands.
It’s a great challenge to take on with friends or colleagues, so please spread the word and form a team! I’m hoping to.For more information and to register go to www.careinternational.org.uk/walkinhershoes

My youngest daughter was in the US for Christmas and had a brilliant time. She continues to train hard for the London Marathon and needs more promises of sponsorship (for the Multiple System Atrophy Trust) to keep her going on dark wet evenings when she runs after work. If you can sponsor her please go to http://www.justgiving.com/Grace-Roodhouse

Sorry no photographs today. I've tried to upload without success. I promise to try harder next time.