I think I know what it is like to be a leper and outcast, as soon as I tell colleagues about my illness communication ceases to exist. It is hard to take, for example, an academic colleague who I have known for around 25 years and for whom I have acted as a referee and was a founder member of his journal’s editorial board, does not reply to e-mails you begin to wonder what's wrong with you. The, disease is a physical business and does not diminish my knowledge and experience. I can only conclude that the lack of communication is in fact closure because he doesn’t know what to say to me, but it would be good to know that was the case. Other examples include an experienced senior manager with a deep interest in vocational education. We worked very closely for five or more years but he is not talking to me anymore and no longer thinks of me in terms of business opportunities. Nor does he just pick up the phone to find out how I'm getting on. Even my best man is ignoring me; it upsets me as I become more and more isolated. I already sense that my opinion is not valued quite so much with family and friends.
Being referred to in the third person as he or him is in my view dehumanising and degrading, after all, I do have a name. An example of this is when Liz and I went to a coffee fundraising event for a very large charity. We had just settled in with our coffee when we were approached by one of the professional staff of the charity, who assumed that Liz was my carer and started a conversation with her about me with me there! Even when Liz asked me to comment on the conversation this professional lady continued to ignore me! It was as though I was blind, deaf and dumb. I have to say this is not the first time, doctors and nurses do this frequently. Telephone conversations sometimes fall within this category that is talking the about his condition when present.
Enough of this, it is Christmas time! Yesterday we went to visit Liz’s dad who is 86, lives on his own and is a legend in his lifetime as far as our kids are concerned. He never throws anything away and is a source of information about the village where he has lived all his life and Liz’s family history. Tonight we’re going to a carol service with mince pies and mulled wine afterwards.
Happy Christmas to my bloggers, fat or thin, big or small, hair or no hair. Have a good time with family and friends. I will not be writing my blog over the holiday period. Sorry about that but I want a drink or two G&T of course and some chat.
Simon
ReplyDeleteYou are not a leper although you've often been outcast. I think you have been, and remain, a subversive! But then I suppose that has always been the fate of someone who thinks for himself.
Have a happy family Xmas
Hope to see you again when the weather improves.
Ray
Alas, people often view us through the eyes of what is in it for them - something that has increased in my lifetime. Also, and I am being fair to an unknown individual, they may find it difficult to come to terms with your illness.
ReplyDeleteKeep asking questions and making people such as the one you refer to consider their own values etc.
I have just read Sierra Leone Diary 40 years ago - weather nicer, too many parties and a turkey that took four days to thaw - bought from a Lebanese.
Keep writing, thinking and continue to reflect some of what Dylan Thomas wrote of his father.
Simon, Thank you for being so frank and honest. I have now read all your blogs. I am struck by your courage, lack of cant, lack of self pity. I am impressed by the literary quality. Your intellectual powers are clearly undiminished. It is a shame that people treat you as a leper because your physical powers are diminished. They judge themselves, not you - just as people judge themselves by their treatment of the light of the world - the light has come into the world and people loved the darkness rather than thelight.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI hope all is well, missing your 'thoughts from rural Yorkshire'.
Just reading through edits of the first edition of Journal of Sierra Leone Studies, last published in late 1970's. Interesting but knowing the exact author is now almost impossible.Aiming for 15h January launch in UK/US and March in Freetown