Sunday, 6 May 2012

Lessons from Simon


Simon mentioned his friend Ian in several of his blogs and this week’s words apart from this opening paragraph are his. To go with Ian’s thoughts I have chosen the photograph he took last winter. It shows part of our boundary wall which Simon recently used as his computer screen saver. I have been thinking about walls this week perhaps prompted by seeing Eve’s extension walls grow and interior divisions emerge. The new walls stand where the garage used to be. It was so much easier to knock down the garage walls than build up the new ones. Walls are very like our feelings aren’t they? It’s quite easy to make people sad by the things we say or don’t say. This week my walls are feeling strong because of the time I have spent talking to friends on the phone, reading email messages and letters or even better spending time with them. I have also felt free – as Simon’s body was failing him increasingly walls were hemming me in, but now they have been knocked down. Ian’s thoughts follow.


I cannot claim to be Simon’s life-long friend as I have only known him for about the last ten years. At first like many others, I felt a little intimidated by his direct manner and fierce intellect – he was never one to hold back on his thoughts, especially on art and education. Prior to MSA taking hold, we “enjoyed” many of his very long walks in the Dales and I therefore got to know him better - his immense energy and a passion for work, education, family and community.

He was an excellent hill walker – we called him the Mountain Goat who went faster up the hills when we were all flagging. My wife would bring along copious amounts of cakes and tea to try to slow him down but only with partial success.  I’m sure he thought we were all wimps and needed to toughen up. 

The onset of MSA was a great tragedy to a man of such drive and intellect who thrived on debate and communication. But Simon refused to be cowered and beaten. His approach to MSA was so inspiring. 
He made sure we all knew everything there was about it but he never complained to me about his condition even though I knew he was facing tremendous physical and mental challenges.

At our monthly lunch, we would witter on about politics and financial markets as well as his “hot buttons” of tuition fees, workplace learning and motor racing. I found myself doing more of the talking as his condition worsened but he never failed to listen carefully and come up with some insight or witty comment that would take me back or make me laugh.

My friendship with Simon taught me many lessons about how to live a full and ambitious life through whatever it throws at you. Just say yes to all new experiences, work and play hard, retain a positive attitude with a sense of humour, remain curious and hungry for knowledge, and above all, never accept no for an answer or second best. I learnt from him that it is good to question, challenge the accepted wisdom, and do things differently with a dogged determination.          

Simon, I will miss your wise counsel and never forget your valuable lessons on living and illness. It was an honour to carry you in a beautiful woolly coffin to your natural place in the Yorkshire Dales where I know you will rest in peace.     

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